


Contrti et refectus sunt

by JensEGresch21



Series: Reckless [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:06:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8036278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JensEGresch21/pseuds/JensEGresch21
Summary: Part 2 of the Reckless series. Contriti et refectus sunt. - "They were broken and they were repaired." (Thanks to Iliadandodyssey) This story will follow the events of Mass Effect 2 within the AU I created. Shepard struggles to find herself, Garrus struggles with his emotions, Nihlus doesn't know who he is and Joker wants to kill the computer aboard the Normandy. Thanks you for all the people that have been around since Reckless and thank you to everyone new. Comments and critics are always welcome and wanted. XD





	Contrti et refectus sunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. It took me some time to get this chapter out as I do not write outlines. I simply just let the words flow. I wanted this chapter to be longer but I want what I have planned next to be on its own. I hope this is a good start to Part 2. Comments and critics are welcomed. Thanks

Her trial conducted by the Alliance was over, which gave her back her previous life. No more running, no more masks. When it finally came to an end, they asked her if she would accept their offer and work for the Alliance once again. She had half a mind to turn them down, in fact that had been her plan all along. She had hoped to be cleared of her accusations and then she would return to her role as CEO but like she had feared all along, the old Shepard had showed her golden head. She had accepted their offer and was thrown back into her role as leader and Commander. Day after day, she was praised with things she should have been awarded years ago. Then orders came in that she would be deployed to wipe out the remaining geth in Alliance territory. With a heavy heart she began to say goodbye to those she had grown so close to; Garrus, Tali, Wrex, and especially Nihlus, although he had denied her the goodbye and marched off to talk to Anderson. Next thing she knew her goodbyes had been for nothing and she was the Captain of the Normandy, the place she loved to be most, her home.  

Now, cuddled up against her boney teddy bear was Jane Shepard. She didn't have a care in the world at that moment, as she took her time to truly live in the present, something she hadn't done in ages. She was a free woman and the hate for her had slowly dissipated around the galaxy. Shepard was once again a hero. What more could she ask for? 

Nihlus brough a talon to her cheek and laughed.  

"Daydreaming again are we?" 

Jane let her neck go limp and her face fall into her pillow.  

"I'm not used to feeling this comfortable with my life." She mumbled.  

Nihlus sat up in the bed and laughed some more. 

"Well I'm glad I can help you with that." He leaned down to gently kiss her. "And as you boyfriend, it's my job to always keep it that way." 

Jane let a small smirk pass her face before turning to lay on her back.  

"You know, there's a good chance we will be separated in the future. The new Council will want you for a future mission and I'll have my own orders." Sadness creeped into her features. "Happiness never lasts." 

Nihlus engulfed her into his arms. 

"When the time comes we'll think about that. I want you to focus on what you feel now, don't let the future bother you." 

Jane sighed.  

"You're probably right." 

Nihlus snuggled his mouth into her neck. 

"Logically speaking, when aren't I?" 

Jane rolled her eyes and pushed him away. 

"Alright smartass, time to get ready." 

…...... 

It had been the fifth planet this week and there wasn't a single sign of geth on any of them. Each time they scanned the area, it produced zero results, the only living things being the locals and the animals that also called the planet home, yet Shepard continued to insist that they still search on foot. 'They could have jammers.' She would say but Garrus would roll his eyes and follow. He knew he'd get to pick on her later about it, when they didn't find a thing.   

He watched her move throughout the trees above them all. She moved from limb to limb silently, like a snake. It was like watching an old fashion ninja movie, accept now the main protagonist was very real and the things she could do very mesmerizing. She ran ahead of them, scouting ahead to ensure their safety, not caring about her own. Nihlus would become enraged by this action, but Garrus saw it as something Shepard was born to do, her purpose. 

She jump down from above in front of them. 

"I don't see anything ahead, let's move on to the village. We'll ask the locals if they've seen anything." 

Garrus sighed, getting a glare from Nihlus and a roll of the eyes from Jane.  

"Is this really necessary Shep?" Garrus whined.  

Jane sighed and started walking towards the village.  

"Actually no. Why don't you two head back to the ship. This is something I can easily do myself." 

She began to pick up a jog, immediately Nihlus tried to run after her who was stopped short by his friend.  

"Let her go, she's more than capable." Garrus dragged him away towards the shuttle. "You should stop acting like her father and believe in her abilities." 

Nihlus sighed and reluctantly followed.  

"Since when are you so wise and since when do you know anything about relationships, Mr. One Night stand."   

Garrus expanded his mandibles in a turian smirk.  

"I learned all I need to know about relationships by watching you two. Now I know exactly what not to do." 

Nihlus pushed Garrus with his forearm. 

"Jane isn't the easiest to handle." He looked up the purple sky. "But, she's a challenge I will never give up on." 

"How romantic." Garrus mocked. "I wish the entire crew could hear their badass captain right now." 

"Yeah, laugh now Vakarian. Just wait until you meet your mate, then you'll understand." Countered Nihlus.  

Garrus' face became oddly serious. Flashes of Janes smile filled his eyes. He blinked and breathed the feeling out of his system. Then he too looked up at the sky.  

"Yeah. Maybe you're right." 

"What about that one female you caught up with when we docked on Earth a few weeks ago? The one from your old ship." Asked Nihlus.  

"Nyreen?" Garrus began to rub the back of his neck. "Uh, we both just needed to blow off steam. It didn't mean anything." 

"That's too bad Vakarian. We could have went on a double date." Nihlus laughed. 

He continued to talk next to him but Garrus didn’t hear him. He hardly noticed that his friend had left his side at some point, and he had made his way back into the main battery. Garrus blinked his eyes in confusion a few time before sitting on a crate and cupping his hands over his face. Jane's image once again filled his mind. Before he knew it he could smell her, like she was standing right next to him. 

"You alright Vakarian?" She spoke up.  

Garrus jumped up from the crate, utterly frightened by her. 

"Whoa now," She held up her hands. "I didn't mean to intrude. The door was green and Nihlus said you were acting weird so I thought I'd-" 

He didn't pay attention to her words, he just stared at her face. Had her eyes gotten bluer? When had her fringe began to get so dark? Why was she even here? Jane put herself even closer to him, waving a hand in his face. 

"Normandy to Garrus." She laid her hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong-" 

"I'm fine." He barely whispered. 

Jane looked at him like she didn’t comprehend.  

"What?" 

Garrus moved away from her to lay on his cot. 

"I said I'm fine Shepard. Tell Nihlus thanks for the concern but he didn't have to send you down here to comfort me." 

Jane crossed her arms in front of her. 

"What are you talking about? Didn't you hear anything I just said? Nihlus didn't send me down here." 

Garrus quickly looked at her before looking away. 

"Then why are you here?" He questioned, his voice cold. 

Jane's face looked as though he had insulted her mother.  

"Because I wanted to make sure my bloody, thick headed, wanker of a friend was alright! I now see that it was a waste of my time." 

Garrus sighed and sat up, rubbing his forehead.  

"I'm sorry Shepard." He stood and came before her, grabbing her into an embrace. "I really am sorry." He pulled away and put on a fake smile, he then noticed she was still in her armor. "You haven't changed yet?" 

 Jane stepped back from him. 

"Well no." Her face turned slightly pink. "Nihlus met me in the shuttle bay and filled me in. I came straight here to see if you were ok." 

Garrus looked straight into her eyes. 

"You really care. Don't you?" 

Jane raised an eyebrow and smirked. 

"Of course I do, you're like a brat, kid brother." She laughed. 

Garrus died a little inside.  

"Well I'm sorry I caused you so much grief." 

Jane slapped him on the shoulder. 

"Stop apologizing, will ya? You're starting to sound like Nihlus. Just cheer up ok? I need my partner in crime." 

She smiled up at him. Garrus opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Jane's body being flung into his. The Normandy had been hit but something and immediately after the entire ship was on red alert. 

"Go suit up." Shouted Jane over the alarms. 

Garrus nodded and hurried to throw on the armor he had thrown about the room.  

"I can't get a hold of Joker, I'm going to have to run up there and see what's going on." 

"Way ahead of you." Shouted Nihlus as he ran into the room. "We are being attacked by an unknown ship. I ordered an evacuation but Joker won't listen to me, he set up a shield to keep me out." 

Jane pulled on her helmet.  

"You two get everyone out including yourselves, I'll go get Joker." 

She worked to send out a distress signal. Nihlus grabbed  her arm. 

"You think that I'm going to leave you at a time like this?" 

She didn’t look up from her omnitool.  

"It was an order. Garrus get him out of here." 

"Yes Shepard." 

Garrus grabbed his friend and knocked him out, dragging him to an escape pod. Fires and explosions littered the Normandy as Jane ran from the main battery to the right of the mess hall to reach the stairs, racing up them the door opened to reveal a sight that took her breath away. It was so beautiful considering their situation. The hole ripped through the ship's hull allowed the stars and the planet below to shine through. Jane stored the picture in her mind as she worked to decode Joker's shield. She finally got through.  

"Joker lets go!" 

"I'm not leaving the Normandy, I can still save her." He was desperate. 

"Like hell you can!" She shouted as she grabbed him. "Going down with the Normandy will not stop the fact that it's lost. Now come on." 

Joker studied the space in front of him.  

"Yeah I guess you're right. Help me up." Jane hurried him. "Ow! Watch the arm!" He hobbled along with her reluctantly. 

Jane shoved him into the nearest escape pod, preparing herself to enter. Then the mystery ship showed itself.  

"They're coming around for another attack!" Nihlus shouted at her out of nowhere. 

He dived for her as the beam ripped through the Normandy once more. The crashed into the wall behind them in time for the beam to ignite something and cause an explosion. Nihlus was thrown towards the escape pod, his body mangled. Joker barely dragged him inside before the beam hit towards them once more, he looked to Shepard, who was clearly not planning on joining them. His eyes grew wide. 

"Shepard no-!" 

She cut him off and hit the button that would save their lives. They flew off into the darkness, to safety, away from the ship. A final blast pushed her away from the Normandy, ironically towards the scene she had studied earlier. 

Dying was not what everyone made it out to be. Once again her life did not flash before her eyes and it was far from painless. Having every inch of oxygen ripped out of your body, set your nerves on fire. At one point her limbs began to flail involuntarily as her brain began to die, along with her body. Her eyes did not move away from the ship, she wanted her last memories to be of the Normandy and the great things that had happened to her there. She was not sad because she knew it was the end, part of her was happy. It was finally all over and she would no longer have to struggle to fit into whatever situation she was thrown at. When blackness finally engulfed her, she felt more than alive, although her body was laying still upon the icey earth.  

….... 

They provided all the bells and whistles that every hero's funeral usually had. It wasn't unique but it was big and publicized, everything Shepard would have hated. Strangers gathered around a casket that was empty, not that they knew that, and prayers and poems were said. Shepard had just gotten back into societies good graces, and everyone seemed more than willing to share their words on how much they didn’t know her. It was quite entertaining when you were drunk on turian whiskey.  

Garrus stood in the background of it all, a bouquet of her favorite flowers in one hand and a paper bag with his current fuel source in the other. He was still numb from it all, the Normandy being demolished and of course her death. He refused to say her name or speak of what happened in order to keep what he lost to a minimum. If he began to say it out loud, it might actually come true, he couldn’t handle that. Everyone had made it to the funeral, each of them trying to comfort him with wasted breath. Tali hugged him as she fought back tears, Wrex had given him a punch to the shoulder, James barely made eye contact and nodded his way, even Kadian had made the effort. The only one missing was Joker, who after months, still blamed himself for the Commander's death.  Garrus had expected more. He needed more for the entire thing to be real. Nihlus stood next to him without a single reaction besides stating how sad it was to see so much young potential wasted. He had no clue he had once loved Jane immensely, so much so that he had discussed making arrangements to ask for Jane's hand with him. Part of him was glad it didn't go through. Another part of him was glad to have his old friend back, the turian he knew before Shepard had came along. Most of him was just being selfish.  

No one dared to try and ask Nihlus what had happened up there. All everyone knew was that he had jumped from his pod to go help Jane and it ended in him getting a serious brain injury and her dead. Nihlus had resorted back to himself before he had got to know Jane. For all he was concerned, she was a talented Alliance soldier that he had sponsored for Spectreship. Nothing else. The entire year that she had gained his trust, had stolen his heart...was completely gone.  

Powder rifles ran off in front of the shallow grave they had dug her. That's all Garrus wanted; to be completely gone.  

…... 

 

A year later and he was still stuck in the circle of what used to be. He had re-applied for the Spectre program, under Shepard's influence of course. He had become a prospect, him and about thirty others. They had began their training under Nihlus, which was some kind of sick joke to Garrus.  

After the funeral he had distanced himself from his old friend. It was too hard to pretend that Jane had never happened to any of them, it crushed him everytime she crossed his mind and he had no one to talk to. Nihlus was too difficult to be around.  

Everyday after training he would research her death, trying to find someway around it. Garrus had somehow convinced himself that Jane was not dead but had made a plan to disappear like she had before. She was somewhere out there, probably making millions like she had before. He just wished she had told him where she had gone or at least given him a number to contact.  

But here he was, in line with the rest of the recruits waiting for roll call. Nihlus had been surprised when he saw his friend's name in the list and had immediately requested he be put in his group, or that is what he had said as he engulfed his friend in a hug on the first day. It took all Garrus' self control not to punch the guy. The Spectre requirements were not hard to Garrus, he had the leadership skills and tactical abilities, what was hard was doing what Nihlus told him. His mind screamed at him daily and told him to defy, while his turian DNA told him to stand straight and follow orders. He was once again caught up in the red tape he tried to get away from for so long. His entire body had been criss-crossed and knotted into something he didn't recognize anymore. There was no justice in anything he did. He didn't help anyone like this. He didn't need to be trained in things Shepard had taught him months ago, it was all a waste of time.  

"Vakarian!" Nihlus shouted inches from his face. "I asked you to repeat the fifth line of Spectre protocol. I will not repeat myself again." 

Garrus sighed, letting his anger flow out word with his breath. He kept his eyes closed, trying to hold back the rage. The other recruits began to stir, obviously questioning Garrus' lack of respect. Nihlus brought himself closer.  

"Just because you are my friend does not mean you can disrespect me in this manner Garrus. You will get down on this floor and do push ups until I tell you to stop. When you get back to your bunk you will be more severely punished, expect janitorial duty for the next few weeks.  Now get down!"  

Garrus didn't listen and took a step back from Nihlus. He swung and punched the turian, knocking him out with one hit. Everyone in the room stood silent in shock. Garrus stepped over his friend's body and out the door. He didn't look back once.  

…. 

With what little money he had left and used one of his old contacts from C-Sec to get him on a ship to Omega. It was an awful place to life, filled with drugs and murder but what a place to fight crime. The Citadel was filled to the brim with bureaucratic bullshit and Garrus was more than happy to get away, here he could do more justice on his own.  

As soon as he landed he got to work. He would stalk around the streets, listening to the local gossip. Once he got info on some scum that was terrorizing the people, he would track them down and end them. He didn't ask for anything in return, the satisfaction of helping someone was enough for him. He didn't even bother to find a place to live, slumming it on the streets gave him adequate cover when it came to people looking for him. They never suspected some homeless turian of being able to bring down an entire gang.  

Slowly, Garrus' pain began to dissipate. He felt like Jane would have approved of his actions regardless of how he went about to get the job done. What was important was keeping the people safe, not the criminals. After a while other people who shared his feelings began to join him. They kept rolling in until there were twelve of them, all of them ready to push back the thugs of Omega. Most of them were former military, some even from C-Sec, many of them having a similar story like his own. It was easier to feel whole again with them. Many of them concealed there names, as did he but they all had a mutual trust and comradery for each other.  

Today they had a plan to take town a major pirating ring on station called Haidao. It was rumored that most of the mercenary groups on Omega were tangled into them, as they were the ones to smuggle in most of their arms and even some drugs. Everyone in the group was on edge, it was twelve against what the suspected to over a hundred. If they succeeded, it would piss a lot of people off, not that Garrus cared.  

 "Explosives are equipped and ready. The others are prepared as well. We can move out on your orders." 

"Thanks Fanrong. Tell the boys to let loose for awhile, we've got some time before we need to head out." 

"Yes Archangel." 

The salarian moved to the others of the group. It had been a long day for them all, preparing was not easy and spending most of the day cycle going over tactics and building schematics was not fun either. Most of the men, including Garrus were running on stims and drugs. Red sand was used by the few biotics in the group, the other used the stimulates that were banned all over the universe. Very hard to get but they worked so very good. Garrus preferred to pair this with a old human drug made of cannibus, while one side gave him energy, the other allowed it to be steady. 

He took a drag from his blunt and made his way down to his men. Most of them sat together, enjoying their time and laughing at some dirty joke one of them made, the single batarian of the group, his tech specialist, sat but himself in the corner. It was better not to mess with the guy. When the men realized his presence in the room they stood up and cheered. 

"Here's to the short months I've lived with you fuckers!" Yelled Sidonis, another turian in the group. 

Someone through Garrus a drink and they all downed their glasses together. 

"Alright everyone, time to take your last drags and sober up. We head out in at the beginning of the next night cycle. Be ready." 

Garrus left them with his little speech and made his way back to the upper area of the building. Once again he was faced with something that would most likely kill him but unlike last time, he didn't have a crazy redhead to watch his ass.  

….. 

While everyone slept that night, Garrus tossed and turned on his cot. Every time he fell alseep he saw her face. It was always the same nightmare. They would be out on some kind of mission, just the two of them. There was little to no action but then all of a sudden the mystery ship would appear and cast its bright beam down upon them. Garrus would always escape while Shepard's body would lay out in the open, bloody and very much dead. He would always kneel and sob over her and then he'd wake.  

He flung up from the makeshift bed in a fit of rage. Grabbing the nearest source of alcohol he downed what was left in the bottle and flung it at the wall, watching it shatter. He successfully found another bottle and began to suck the substance out of that one, while mixing it with a syringe full of stimulate. He numbed his senses and the pain. 

 Nobody bothered to do anything in the group, they had tried multiple times before and failed. It was better to let him drink himself back to sleep. Sidonis was the only one who dared to be next to Garrus when he was like this. He stood from his cot and rolled a blunt, bringing it to his comrade.  

"I would ask if you wanna talk about it but that usually ends with me getting a bloody nose." He said while handing Garrus the blunt. "Smoke up buddy, it'll help." 

Garrus let out a growl and snatched the drug, lighting it with his omnitool. He took a hit and blew it out.  

"How much longer until this stuff doesn’t help anymore? I'm pretty sure I've just gone fucking crazy." 

He handed the blunt to Sidonis, who took a drag and coughed.  

"Ha! I think all of us here are crazy. Most of us have some kind of military looking for us, you have to be crazy to do the shit we do. No sane man would attempt to take down a fucking merc gang." 

Garrus snatched it back. 

"You're probably right about that one." He took a drag and washed it down with some brandy. "Hell knows if we'll make it out of the next one." 

"Better ask that pretty little red-head of yours to watch over us up there." Sidonis pointed to the ceiling.  

Garrus stilled. 

"How do you know about Jane?" 

Sidonis turned more towards Garrus and pointed to the blunt, he took his time with his drag. 

"All of us have seen you looking at that picture on your omnitool. Never knew you ran the great Nihlus Kryik till then. Double didn't know you knew the old Commander either. I heard about her death-" He dropped his hand on Garrus' shoulder. "That's some fucking messed up shit." 

Garrus set the brandy down and gently took the man's hand off his shoulder.  

"Yeah. Everyday I relive her death. It's everywhere, in my dreams, on the news. I can't fucking get away from it. I thought coming here would help but damn. I've become my old self, someone I know she wouldn't like." 

Sidonis cleared his throat. 

"Do you realize how many innocent people you saved? Do you realized you saved each and every one of our sorry asses? Before I met you, I was lost. I had run away from my life and had no idea how'd to survive here. You gave us all a purpose and a god damn good one at that." 

Garrus looked down the brandy bottle. 

"Keep talking like that and I'll start to think you're a human." Garrus laughed. 

"Better than being a turian with a stick up my ass." Sidonis countered. 

Both turians shared a small laugh. 

"It's almost time to go, you ready?" Asked Sidonis. 

"I've been ready. Let's take these bastards down." 

Sidonis stood and gave Garrus a punch on the shoulder.  

"There's the Archangel I know." 

…. 

"Its been a fucking year and she's still not ready yet. Why isn't she ready?!" 

Saren grabbed the man in front of him by his clothes and lifted him into the air.  

"Saren! Please put that poor man down and come with me." 

Saren looked at the woman and growled.  

"Not now Miranda. I put all my money into this project and I want to see results. If these incompetent doctors can't give me answers-" 

Miranda used a biotic pulse to but him on his ass. She marched over to him and grabbed him by the cowl.  

"Now if you're ready to bloody listen I can give you an update on Shepard." 

She helped him stand and waved him after her. 

"Follow me." They began to walk towards the lab that was currently working to revive Commander Shepard. "We are getting close now. Her body has been fully cleared of debris and her heart has been restarted. Brain and nerve function remain to be the problem." 

Saren growled. 

"Well she's not Shepard without her brain. Do something." 

Miranda stopped in her tracks and turned towards him. 

"You don't think we're trying? We need Shepard for bigger reasons than you do." 

"You just want to use her." Saren got closer to the human. "You want her to save your kind and then you'll throw her back at the Alliance when you're finished." 

Miranda studied the turian and shrugged her shoulders. 

"That's big talk coming from someone who killed thousands and let his brain be taken by an ancient, alien machine." 

Saren said nothing. 

"Now if you'll continue to follow me, the Illusive man wishes to speak with you." 

"I have nothing more to give that man."  

"That's what you think." Miranda smirked. "But like it or not, you're still one of the best out there." 

"I will not kill for Cerberus." Spat Saren. 

Miranda stopped in front of the door that lead to the Illusive man's room. 

"I suggest you watch your tongue while you're speaking to him." The door opened and she pushed him through. "See you later." 

Saren was left in darkness. He couldn't see two steps in front of him until dim lights began to automatically turn on around him. He followed a ramp up to another door that opened to reveal the mystery man himself. Saren had never talked to him in person, it was always a hologram or over omnitool. 

"Mr. Arterius. Please come in." Spoke the deep voice.


End file.
